Do you like falling in love? What is this feeling of being “in love”? How do you “fall” in it, and why doesn’t it last? What if your lover doesn’t “fall” with you? It sounds so random, doesn’t it? This “falling” into something. And so mysterious…
According to all sacred traditions, our essential nature as human beings is one of openness, sensitivity, compassion, wholesomeness and love. We are born with the seeds of love, courage, wisdom, generosity, tenderness, and joy. When we enter this world, we “fall” out of that state, and into a complex emotional maze – our families. The way the vulnerable Child deals with it is to shut down and contract – body and mind – cutting awareness of feeling, while in the process losing touch with those inner resources available to us as human beings.
After much practice of contracting and disconnecting from Self, stable, continuous defenses are in place. The Adult is now running a software called “reality”, with complex code accounting for the cause and effect of things, ways to stay safe, rules for engaging with others, and most importantly identities for Self. The world makes sense now. It doesn’t necessarily feel good, but at least it fits neatly into little boxes. There’s order. And then something happens that does not fit in a box, that overrides the software, and makes you “fall” once again. Fall back into your essential nature. We call that Love. When heart takes over, and soul meets soul, you “see the world in a grain of sand, and heaven in a wildflower”, you “hold infinity in the palm of your hand, and eternity in an hour.”
Our True Self
Love is in fact only the coming back to our essential nature, to our True Self. That is why it feels so good. Love is there to remind us we are not our identities, and the world is not the little boxes. And Love is not what our lover is doing onto us, it is a state of existence we create inside of us.
This is what the path of conscious relationships is for. We have entered a new era of relationships and consciousness. One in which the relationship must be used as a vehicle for realizing our true nature. It is the only way to engage in a meaningful way, now that we have become economically and socially free and equal. For men, this requires getting in touch with their masculine core. For women, this requires re-discovering their femininity. We all long for polarity and that feeling of being alive, awake, present, that comes with it. The only way to “fall in love” and keep it is to “fall” back into our True Selves. Then, it will not matter if our partner falls with us or not. And the randomness and mystery of the fall will suddenly make sense in a way it never did before.